Yet another new beginning....I know

It's been several months since I posted anything, and I have been asked on more than one occasion (Mom) when I'm going to start posting again.  My internal answer was, "Never!"  After all, the only thing I saw in the mirror was the failure of my start a diet, stop a diet pattern.  But things are just a bit different right now.

First, in September I gained permission to start a Prism Weight Loss Program at our church.  My family has done the Prism program before and frankly, we were all successful at losing weight.  Did I keep it off?  Well that's another story.  I am an emotional eater.  I eat when I'm happy, I eat when I'm sad, and worst of all...I eat when I'm stressed.  I could make all sorts of excuses for my past failures, but the truth is I simply didn't put my heart into it.  I would cheat or not lose weight as I thought I should and then would give myself permission to go down the path that most overeaters take - the path of well I've already screwed up my food for today, may as well enjoy it.  I'll start over tomorrow.  The problem is we either make these mistakes daily, or tomorrow never really comes.

I've been on the Prism program for nine weeks now and I've learned a few things about myself.  First, I maked mistakes - like eating a piece of wedding cake at my cousins wedding over this past weekend.  Second, that I actually prefer the taste of and the feeling after I eat more healthy foods.  Third, that if I do a program with a great group of people (like my current Prism group) and if I have the buy in of my family (who I spend a lot of time with), then I can be successful.  I don't sabotage myself by surrounding myself with people who will constantly try to feed me things that are not in my best interest.  Fourth, although I wouldn't have admitted it before - I am addicted to the scale.  I don't need and really shouldn't weight myself daily - or even weekly.  If I expect a certain number on the scale and don't see it, my first instinct is self sabotage.  How could that possibly be a good thing?  So therefore, the scale needs to be a tool used only ever few weeks (every six weeks to be exact if you're taking into account the Prism program guidelines).  Fifth, I really need to keep my hands busy.  If I'm sitting and watching TV, that's fine, but if my hands are full with yarn and a crochet needle or if I'm working on my laptop, I'm less likely to get up and go to the kitchen to see what is available to alleviate my boredom.  Sixth, take personal ownership of my own choices.  Don't eat something because my husband his (hope you liked the chocolate cream pie honey), and if I do choose to eat something I shouldn't - figure out why. 

We all know that the food that is not the best for us seems to have the best flavor.  Duh!  Who doesn't love a big bowl of peanut butter and chocolate ice cream, or a nice plate of fried chicken and mashed potatoes.  And hey, don't forget the nachos!  But the truth is, would I rather please my palette for about two minutes (the amount of time it would take me to inhale any of the above-mentioned foods), or please my body for the rest of my life?  Wouldn't I rather feel better?  Wouldn't I rather have the energy to play soccer with my kids or go on a shopping adventure like I did in my twenties without being worn out after the second store? 

All in all the point is this - I need to be faithful to the commitment I've made to this program and my group of wonderfully supportive people.  I need to take ownership when I do make mistakes, and be conscious of them so I don't continue to make the same mistakes over and over again.  I need to recognize that I'm human and that I can only truely succeed if I change my lifestyle choices, and rely on God's help on the days that I just can't stand it.  I need to choose life in the long run rather than the instant gratification of my former friendly foods.  And finally, I need to remind myself over and over that I am worth a better life and a better future. 

Guess it's like I've always known...this is a one day at a time, one meal at a time, one bite at a time journey and I need to be ready for the long haul. 

Oh, and by the way...so far it's been worth it.