What Inspires You?

I felt great on Tuesday!  It was my weigh in day and I discovered that I had finally lost 3.4 pounds.  True to form, on Tuesday night, I ate.  I didn't make bad choices, I just ate way to much of the good choices.  Lesson to all:  if you eat a ton of something, you've still eaten a ton.  Moderation is always the key, but sometimes we let our tastebuds or our emotions run the show rather than the determination of our mind.

I justified myself these past two days with the excuse of "at least I made better choices".  Justifiction, excuses...these are bad words for me...just like the word "approximately".  If I give myself an inch - I'll take a mile. 

So all of this got me to thinking.  Several seasons ago there was a gal on The Biggest Loser (my favorite TV show).  Her name was Suzy Peston and she was one of the final three players for that particular season.  Once she got home for the final portion of the game, she too found herself in the same situation I just described.  She was addicted to fudgecicles.  She finally realized that she was eating several fudgecicles a day.  She would get stressed, she went for a fudgecicle.  So what did she do?  She threw the box away.  That story inspires me.   Suzy realized that her good choice was only good when she had control over it.  I'm learning more and more every day that I need to have the control over what goes into my mouth, both good and bad.

My husband, Michael, was so excited when we decided to join the local gym.  He's wanted to join a gym for the last several years, but I'm tight with money (on certain things) and with the absence of something close by, I felt it would be like the other times we had joined a gym - we would go for a couple of weeks, and then fall of the wagon (so to speak).  But guess what...he goes nearly every day.  He not only goes regularly, he goes at 4:00 in the morning.  He's dedicated himself to the commitment he made to work out and he really seems to be enjoying it.  That inspires me. 

My sister-in-law, Kirsten, started this journey with me last year.  Kirsten has always been the type of person to see a challenge and meet it head on.  She worked out religiously, tracked her points regularly, and changed her lifestyle.  As a result, she's lost a tremendous amount of weight and has kept it off.  What's more, she has continually exceeded her own expectation and pushed herself to a new level of activity.  She holds herself accountable, and works every day to make the right choices.  Sure there are days that she thinks a choice could have been different, but she is determined and focused and is a true success story in my opinion.  She inspires me.

These are only a few examples of what inspires me.  I'm inspired in so many aspects of my life, and these are only the tip of the iceburg for what inspires me to lose weight.  My best inspiration is the two beautiful girls that live in my house who tell me almost daily, "you can do this mommy."  They stand beside me while I do a simple workout on the Wii, running the lap or marching to the Wii band (that is fun).  They get on my balance ball (whom they have affectionately named Mrs. Peanut) and bounce around to show me the types of things that can be done on it (I think they are miniature versions of Jillian Michaels).  They even try to give me goals to reach and tempt me with rewards (Mom, we can go on a bike ride if you do this....).  I love that they have embraced the idea of a healthy life, and that they push me to keep my focus on making better choices. 

As I've said before, today is a new day, and so is tomorrow.  I'm ready for the gym tonight and plan to continue on the track to a healthy life.  This week, I have a goal.  I want to lose weight and feel better.  It only takes one pound at a time.

Back in the Saddle

Have you ever felt like your life was like the song Back in the Saddle?  You know the one I mean, right?

Seems like so many of my posts lately have to do with starting over.  But each day is a new day I guess. 

I spent the last week or two eating everything in sight and still not feeling satisfied.  If I had something salty, I wanted something sweet.  I ate emotionally.  I ate when I was stressed (which these days seems to be all of the time with the chaos of work).  

So, after a weekend of ice cream sundae left over from Hallie's birthday party, I made a new commitment, and today I actually stuck to it.  I stayed within my Weight Watcher points even though we went out to dinner, and went to work out even though I was exhausted.  I didn't work out as long as I would've liked to since my knee wasn't happy with me, but I still did it and even broke a sweat (or as my mom would say, I glistened). 

What's even better, I didn't run to the kitchen the moment I got home to gorge myself with the mental excuse being that I had just worked out and needed some energy - some fuel for my body.  My body has an over abundance of stored up fuel.  I can take a break every now and then.

So this week my goal is simple - lose at least an ounce.   

Setting Attainable Goals

I started this year with a huge plan.  I have to get on an airplane in May for a business trip and I was determined to lose 50 pounds before boarding that plane.  I've realized recently that I'm thinking of goals in a way that seems to be overwhelming, which ultimately makes me feel like they are unattainable. 

Take this past weekend for instance.  I went to a scrapbook conference with one of my favorite people in the world (love you Kirsten).  I had this vision of me in my workout garb running around the block a dozen times working off the very healthy lunch mind mind had fixed for my consumption.  With this new found commitment of the year, I was sure that I was going to be the weight loss angel.  Yeah right!  Will power - not one of my strong suits.  About half way on the drive to Portland, I realized my dream of a perfect guilt free weekend would not be possible and quite frankly wasn't realistic.  So, with the help of Kirsten, I retrained my mind.  I set small goals and did things one at a time. 

First, breakfast.  Big surprise, I hadn't eaten anything to start my day and knew that the drive thru was our only choice given the time we had to get to Portland to take our first scrapbooking class.  Goal number one, make a good choice for breakfast.  I'm happy to say, goal number one accomplished.  We went to McD's and I opted for the egg mcmuffin (for you WW buddies - 7 points) and the water I had brought.  Lunch was another story.  The chicken strips and fries were screaming my name, but it was time to set another goal.  Goal number two, make a good choice for lunch.  I chose the turkey sandwich on rye, no mayo.  I added a Starbucks Vanilla Bean Cream, but ordered without the whipped cream and discovered they make it with nonfat milk - SCORE!  I could go on and on about the goals, but I think you get the picture. 

I learned a few things this weekend that I wanted to share.

*  You don't have to give up the fun you've had in your "past life" before you counted calories and avoided processed foods.  You just have to make different choices.

*  Pizza is good whether you get stuffed crust cheesy loaded grease dripping Pizza Hut, or the Chicken Bacon Artichoke Delight pizza from Papa Murphy's.  Let me tell you friend, that is one good pizza with a fraction of the fat grams and calories.  You can practically eat half a pizza for the number of points I usually save for dinner. 

*  Dessert doesn't need to be a chocolate brownie covered in fudge and loaded with peanut butter.  It can be a low sugar yellow cake mix baked with nothing more added than a can of diet cream soda and topped with a lowfat (or no fat) frozen yogurt (the tart kind is awesome - thanks for the introduction to it Michele).

*  It is not a human requirement to eat popcorn or greasy potato chips while watching a movie.  Keep your hands busy and your mouth will get over it.  Crochet or cross stitch.  Besides then you have something else to keep your eyes on during the gross parts of the horror flick you're watching.

So, I've decided to set a couple of goals this week that are smaller and more attainable than the overwhelming 50 pounds before May.  Maybe if I achieve enough of these, I'll actually make those 50 pounds. 

1)  Get my new WW code to get the online program started again.  Let's face it, I know what to eat, but portion control is not my strong suit right now.

2)  Build up my courage to run 30 seconds on the treadmill at the gym.  It doesn't matter what jiggles or how long it takes to stop, if I never try it, I will never conquer it.

3)  Make sure my rewards are appropriate and not food related.  If I lose an ounce, I'm not entitled to a new outfit, nor should I run out and eat a hot fudge sundae.

4)  If I skip a day at the gym, either make it up on an off day or do something mobile at home to get my heart rate up.

These are the goals I need to start with.  Maybe next week I'll be ready for more.    

More Lists

Days like today are the ones where you just want to go home and curl up in the chair with a cozy blanket and a half-gallon of chocolate and peanut butter ice cream.  That might have been the way I would handle things a month ago, but not the choice I made today.  I can't help but be proud of myself as I think about what could have been, and what was.  Instead of diving head first into that chocolate peanut butter goodness, I cooked a broccoli beef stir fry and low fat "fried" rice for my family.  I sat with my girls and had a great dinner and then proceeded to make plans to go to the gym with my friend for later this evening. 

While I know my post yesterday was all about excuses, today is all about the positive.  Here are a few things I've learned on this journey that seemed to be restarted over and over again...

1)  I can only walk this road one day at a time.  Today is all that matters, not the mistakes of yesterday or the challenges of tomorrow.

2)  I won't enjoy the blessings I have if I am a physical wreck.  I have a purpose to this journey and I need to remember that with each step on the treadmill.

3)  The elliptical machine was probably not made in hell and it's a mountain I can climb and shout from the top "look at me world - I am a conqueror." 

4)  If I want to give advice on health, I need to actually live a healthy lifestyle.  I may have all the knowledge in the world about getting into shape and finding health, but if I don't practice what I preach, I'm nothing more than the emptiness of my words.

5)  There's nothing more encouraging on a journey like this than the supportive words of family and friends.  I will never tire of hearing the words "I'm proud of you." 

6)  With every pound lost and every inch that is gone, my smile just gets bigger and bigger.   Now I have a great excuse to show off those pearly whites. 

7)  Although the battles are mine to fight alone, it's nice to know that I have friends who walk beside me, hold my hand, and cheer me on as I kick the fat-meister in the butt.  Thank you Kirsten, Deana, Mom, Christina, Michael, Pam, Marilyn and the many others who love me for who I am and see me for who I can become. 

 

Lists

It was a very busy day at work today and typically after a day like this, I mindlessly make my way home.  Today was a bit different though.  I was thinking about lists.  I am a list maker - those of you who know me well are laughing yourself out of your chair because we all know that I'm not merely a list maker...I'm a bit obsessive.  I make lists for the grocery store (who doesn't do that?) and lists for the tasks at work (hey - it helps to keep me on track).  I also have lists for bill paying (a God-send if you want to stay within a budget).  But I think the funniest is my obesession with making lists for my husband.  Just this morning I made a list for him - kind of a to do list.  He was home with our sick little one and the list had things like "call school", "call babysitter", get WW code (he said he wanted to join Weight Watchers again).  Yup, my list making can only be categorized as an obsession I think.

I made another one of my lists on the way home today.  It was a mental list of the excuses why I've failed at weight loss and exercise in the past. 

1)  My husband sabotages me by bringing home double stuffed Oreos when he wants me to smile. [Hmm...so is the problem that he brought them home, or that I ate them...all of them!]

2)  My workout buddy didn't feel up to going tonight so I can stay home. [So apparently my body's ability to work out is directly linked to being in proximity with a friend or family member.]

3)  I've messed up the eating today, so I may as well enjoy the rest of the day and restart tomorrow. [Please note, tomorrow is the day after today...not a month or a year later, but the very next day - oh, and tomorrow starts at midnight.]

4)  I'm having too many health problems to stress about losing weight.  [Guess what - lose the weight and the health problems might get better.]

5)  I can't work out because I don't have any workout clothes and I don't want to go shopping for more fat clothes. [Please refer to yesterday's post and then remind me that since I'm overweight, it stands to reason that I own one or a dozen pairs of pants that have elastic in the waist and are made of stretch material.]

6)  My husband loves me just the way I am.  [True, he does...but I don't love me the way I am so what is the real excuse.]

7)  I hate doing things outside - dirt is the enemy.  [Newsflash!  Dirt will not kill you.  Don't you remember the saying when we were kids "God made dirt so dirt don't hurt."]

8)  It costs too much to diet and exercise.  [Not near as much as the medical bills later.  Besides let's think about this....if you eat less, you spend less on food.  If you get active, you spend less on activities such as going to the movies and sitting in front of the satellite enhanced television.]

Am I getting it yet?  For every excuse I have, I have a reason why it doesn't hold water.  So every day is a battle to put the excuses behind me and focus on the positive the future holds if I stick to my plan, keep my commitment and remind myself that every step on the treadmill is another moment of time that I'm adding to my life. 

I want to have a full life....not be too full to live life.  Maybe tomorrow I'll think of a list of the positive things that this journey has brought me so far.